What is prostate milking?
Prostate milking is another term for giving someone a prostate massage. The prostate produces prostatic fluid, which, when combined with the sperm resulting from coming, creates a white liquid resembling milk (semen), which is where the name “prostate milking” comes from.
The prostate is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid in ejaculate and also helps propel semen when you climax. It’s present in people assigned male at birth and is surrounded by nerve endings, providing a one-of-a-kind climax, which I discuss in more detail in The Joys of the P-spot. The prostate is walnut-shaped, firm and very smooth to the touch, and located just below the bladder, about 6–8 cm inside your rectum and towards your belly button (away from your tailbone).
Who can do it?
Anyone can milk the prostate; however, only those born with male anatomy have a prostate to milk. You can use your fingers or specially designed toys (there are plenty out there designed for prostate stimulation) or, of course, the real thing (or a strap-on); however, I prefer toys, strap-ons, or the real thing because plenty can go wrong with finger play. These include the multi-faceted joints of your fingers, the potential for long or jagged nails, and the potentially weird angles of insertion, which can lead to localized injury. That said, if you and/or your partner have recently gotten a manicure and are experienced with fingering, you can proceed.
What does it feel like?
Having your prostate milked is a unique sensation. It’s almost like being tickled (in a good way) on the inside. And if done correctly, you’ll experience one of the most intense climaxes ever, which can be felt from head to toe. You may see stars, your toes may curl, and your entire body will most likely shudder from all the pleasure. However, this pleasure can quickly turn into discomfort.
Is it dangerous?
The prostate is quite sensitive so you’ll want to be careful not to irritate it. That’s why it’s important to experiment with different angles, heights, and positions of both you and your partner (or toy) to see how best to milk your prostate. Because it’s located towards your stomach, you need to pay close attention to the curvature of your partner or your toy and adjust accordingly. Repetitive penetration can cause something called prostatitis. This is what happens when the prostate endures aggressive and significantly prolonged direct stimulation.
So if prostate milking is the goal, be gentle, switch things up, and maintain open and honest lines of communication between everyone involved. If the person having their prostate milked feels any kind of discomfort or pain, stop and take a break before trying again. Once you have perfected milking the prostate with fingers and/or toys, I recommend going to home base. When you use a thrusting motion, combined with careful finesse and rhythm, you can achieve heightened prostate orgasms with full on penetration (read: the real D or a strap-on).
How to milk a prostate with your hands
Most people are told a “come hither” motion is the best (or only) way to massage the prostate with their fingers, but it’s actually more nuanced than that. Think of it like giving a blow job. Sure, going up-and-down repeatedly will do the trick, but adding your hand, playing with the testicles, and even the perineum, will make it even better. So what are my steps for milking the prostate with your hands?
Trim your fingernails (or have your partner trim theirs) and make sure there are no jagged edges. The last thing you want is a tear in your behind.
Make sure you have plenty of lube on hand (no pun intended). I recommend choosing silicone lube because nothing beats the slickness or endurance. However, if you prefer water-based or a hybrid lube because neither of these stain fabric or because they’re easier to wash off afterwards, that’s perfectly fine.
When you’re milking the prostate, the best way to do it, and to help alleviate the pressures from prostatitis, is by massaging starting at the outer edges and then inward on each lobe (left and right). This is because the prostate empties itself through its center, so by going from the outside, in on each side, you’ll be successfully moving the fluid into the middle of the gland, which will help release it when you climax. When you (or your partner).
How to milk a prostate with other assistance (toys)
Invest in a high quality prostate toy. There are plenty on the market that are designed to take the guesswork out of finding your prostate and provide direct stimulation. A good prostate massage will be lightweight, thin, and have both internal and external pressure points for maximum enjoyment. That way, it not only massages your prostate, but also your perineum. Double the stimulation, double the pleasure!
As you would milk the prostate with your fingers, you’ll want to use an abundant amount of lube. Since you’re using a toy this time, please make sure you choose a lube that’s compatible with your toy. Most high quality toys are made of silicone, which means you won’t be able to use silicone lube. The safest bet will be a water-based lubricant or a hybrid or toy-safe lubricant, but check your toy’s packaging to make sure.
Once you have your supplies and you’re ready to play, it’s important to start slow. Since toys are more rigid and less nimble than your fingers, you’ll have to adjust your body’s positioning in order to find the best insertion angle of the toy. As long as you insert your prostate massager correctly — in other words, making sure the curvature that’s meant to stimulate your prostate is facing the right direction — it’s nearly impossible not to hit your prostate.
Some toys are meant to be inserted and left in position, providing your prostate with a constant “nudge”, while others can be used like more traditional toys, where you can push them in and pull them out to simulate person-to-person play. Whichever type of prostate massage you choose is entirely up to you. My last tip — once you’ve come, this area of the body will be extremely sensitive so be sure to remove your toy slowly and carefully.
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